When I was a kid, I would go to the school bus stop early some days just so I could listen to this one bird that had the most mellifluous voice. Yes, early to the bus stop! Tweetle-tweetle-deedle-deedle-he-hoo.
Well, those days are long gone.
The birds that twitter (**see footnote) outside of my home now are ghastly creatures. They don't sing songs. They screech. They hack. They try to murder your ears.
I'm convinced the neighborhood birds have formed an avian conspiracy against me. They know when I need to concentrate or would like a few moments of shut eye. They know.
EEEEK. EEEEK. EEEEK. EEEEK. CACK. CACK. CACK. CACK.
When this first started, I thought, it'll go away in a minute. But it goes on for like a half an hour. Sometimes, it's one bird repeating the same horrible phrase over and over, as if he's in a padded cage in the aviary insane asylum. Other times, it's two or more birds screaming at each other like guests on the Jerry Springer Show.
EEEEK. CACK. EEEEK. CACK. EEEEK. CACK. EEEEK. CACK.
Stop it already!
The other day, I would swear this one bird was saying eat me repeatedly. Eat me! Eat me! Eat me! I began to think he might be suicidal and was making a plea for someone to end it all. I was secretly hoping the Dr. Kevorkian of the bird world would show up and end the pain for the both of us.
See, these birds have gotten into my head. I guess I'll have to figure out a way to live in harmony with them. I'm not the sort of person who would go out and buy a BB gun and pop a few caps in them (oh, but I've dreamt about it...)
No, it's their world too, so we all just have to get along. I just wish that bird from my school boy days would come around and give these screechers a few singing lessons.
**twitter: A word that, in ancient times, was used to describe bird chatter. More recently, the word has been capitalized and now describes what many consider an annoying form of human chirping.
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